Category: Cycle 0

Friday 17 (February, I suppose)

Before starting my project, I invested a significant amount of time to understanding the course program. I wanted to fully grasp it, hoping this would give me a clearer perspective on what was ahead.

Pros: I don’t feel as lost anymore.

Cons: I felt like I spent too much time on this (I started on Friday and finished on Saturday), which left me with less time on Sunday and forced me to rush.

Here it is one of the pages of my notes.

Saturday 18

After I finished familiarizing myself with the course program, I tried free association writing. I wrote things down by hand without thinking about whether they made sense. I had just one rule: I had to be completely honest with myself about what I truly wanted to do and why I wanted to do it.

It was a gratifying exercise. I wrote a total of three pages, which helped me realize that one of the reasons I want to be an artist is to “put Colombia on the map.” From that text, I highlighted some key objects and created a list.

• Solitude
• Living apart
• Western world acknowledgement
• Schools and statues
• Maps
• Athletes, Writers, Idols
• Gabriel García Márquez / Pablo Escobar
• Cultural Colonization

My idea was to look for those objects/symbols outside and take photographs.

Then, I went out for a beer with a friend, who introduced me to an English friend of his. During the conversation, I asked him about statues he considers idols in England or the United Kingdom.

He mentioned the Churchill statue at Parliament Square, the Lions in Trafalgar Square, Cleopatra’s Needle, and one of Cecil Rhodes in Oxford. Honestly, the information he gave me wasn’t useful later, but it was interesting to learn about Cecil Rhodes.

Sunday 19

My plan today was to go outside and take some pictures based on the list from my text. Before heading out, I did some research to clarify my ideas.

First, I listened to a Colombian podcast. The episode was called “Why do Colombians want to succeed abroad”[1] It gave me many insights. The main idea was that we are desperate to be recognized by the rest of the world, and it’s very common for Colombians abroad to feel the duty of being cultural ambassadors for our country, taking any opportunity to highlight positive things about Colombia.

There, they satirized this enthusiasm we feel every time we read something related to our country. For example, when Schwarzenegger got involved with a Colombian’s wife, some news portals celebrated this event as we were standing out[2].

I wonder if this enthusiasm happens with other nationalities, especially with those that dominate global narratives, like the United States.

There are some important premises to understand the Colombian imaginary, in my opinion:

1. A large part of us doesn’t like to be associated with the idea of drugs or drug trafficking, yet every time we cross an airport, we are all treated as potential drug dealers. So, we are used to dealing with delays at immigration and being forced to answer more questions than usual.
2. Regularly, when speaking with people outside South America, we have to expect a joke or a reference to cocaine or Pablo Escobar. I’m not saying that Colombians are the only ones who live under a stereotype, and yet it feels every time uncomfortable.
3. Our way of standing out beyond drug trafficking is through art and sports. It seems that we all have an unspoken pact where we try to excel on behalf of the rest of the Colombians to reshape the idea of drug trafficking. For that reason, whenever an actor, musician, or athlete achieves something, it is expected that, at the very least, a school in Colombia will be named after them.

 I found it funny that, that same night, while I was talking to my dad on the phone and after mentioning the podcast to him, he told me about the excitement he felt years ago when he was reading Les Misérables and found that in one sentence, Victor Hugo mentions Simón Bolívar and the independence of South America.

I have been raised under the myth of Gabriel García Márquez, which goes something like this: The highest a Colombian can aspire to is represented by García Márquez, as he managed, in a time when Colombia was only known for the war on drugs and had never won any international recognition, to later win a Nobel Prize. In my imagination, this is the first and only time a Colombian has ever achieved that, and he did it by telling our stories.

I’m not sure if this is completely true, but it’s the myth I’ve been raised with.

That aside, I admire García Márquez and truly feel that he is one of the highest idols I can aspire to. Not because he won the Nobel Prize, but because of the way he writes and the things he tells in his stories.

Later, I read “The Solitude of Latin America”[3], which is the Nobel Prize-winning speech by García Márquez. I read it not because of the prize, but because I really liked its content. It also talks a bit about the European and North American perspective on South America. It was gratifying to read it again, as it states the idea of not being acknowledged and, at the same time, not being understood—thus, one feels solitude.

The argument of the speech is about Latin America’s search for validation as an “adult” with free will who can have its own politics. It’s important to remember that this was written in the 80s when all South America was experiencing significant political intervention by the United States.

Lastly, I read some articles about the quantities of cocaine in the Thames River because I feel it serves as proof of the role that cocaine plays in English society[4].

Later, I went to Greenwich Park Museum, moved by the idea of the “Solitude of Latin America” and the fact that the Greenwich Meridian somehow places London at the center of the world. It was a bit disappointing; they didn’t provide information about the process of how London was selected as the zero point.

Overall, I expected that looking on the streets the objects that I selected was going to be more insightful. It was useful in the case of Greenwich because it put me on the ground, and gave me a less political perspective on the meridian.

Monday 20

Today I had to present my Box of Uncertainties. With all my photos taken, I filtered them and created a presentation with them as my Box of Uncertainties.

I expected to be a little more organized during the presentation, and there were some things I didn’t say because I felt I was talking too much. It wasn’t a bad presentation, but I could feel the lack of practice, which made me realize that the two days spent reading the course program might not have been as effective as I had hoped.

Maybe in the long term I won’t regret that decision.

At the end of the feedback, we all felt a bit uncomfortable.

I’ve been thinking about many of the comments I received. One stood out: It seems that I don’t want to do any kind of art, but specifically storytelling, which I agree with. I already knew that, but I forgot to mention it. Why did I not mentioned it?

Maybe my question isn’t about what I want to do, but how I want to tell stories. To be fair, any kind of art can tell stories if intended, but I get the idea, and it helps me set a clearer boundary.

For example, I don’t want to do any kind of art, I am not interested in pottery or dancing for now. I want to focus on narrative arts.

Also, I felt that the comments that made me the most uncomfortable are the ones I’ve been thinking about the most. That’s interesting. Just because something makes me uncomfortable doesn’t necessarily mean it’s useful feedback, but it’s interesting to acknowledge that correlation.

Tuesday 21

I’m thinking about doing an intervention to give visibility to Colombian and Latin American stories. I was considering borrowing a digital screen, placing it in the main hall of CSM, and showing some interesting news about Colombia on it, along with a small survey through a QR code.

Wednesday 22

Borrowing a digital screen does sound a bit complicated for now.

I had a fruitful walk back home today and I think I have new ideas for my Box of Uncertainties I would like:

• Something that represents the fear of being a storyteller as a job (What do I want to do?)
• Something that communicates the feeling of why we Colombians don’t like to be associated with drug trafficking (Why do I want to do it?)
• A story that shows the Latin American perspective without victimizing ourselves (Why do I want to do it? And how?).

I was thinking about a new intervention: to sit down in the canteen, play some Colombian music videos on my laptop, and put up a sign that says something like, “Do you feel interested in this music video? Do you want to know more? Let’s chat for a couple of minutes.” It exposes me a little, but I like that. I feel that I’m not making the most of this course if I don’t take risks and step out of my comfort zone.

I read today “From Safe Spaces to Brave Spaces”[5], and it was really helpful; I didn’t expect that it was going to be so enlightening. It was helpful because, when talking about drugs and colonization, I’ve felt in the past few weeks that it’s easy to make some people feel offended. So, I was questioning myself if I should avoid raising these subjects or maybe if I should be more careful not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

Now, after reading that paper, I think that as long as I am respectful, it’s not my problem if people feel offended when talking about drugs or colonization. For some reason, when I speak in general about this matter,  I feel that people tend to personalize it, as if I’m saying “it is your fault” or “you think that way,” which is not my intention. I’m going to be more aware of this, but at the same time, I don’t want to be afraid of speaking about things we all South Americans can relate to.

Thursday 23

I’m thinking about what stories I could use. I have a couple selected. I told one to an artist friend, and she told me that it sounded like I was mocking Colombians. So now, I’m a little worried about the portrait I’m going to create of Colombia and the reasons I want to do this. Is it to entertain others? Who am I wanting to receive these stories?

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[1] Silva, R and Gaviria, A. (2024). ¿Por qué los colombianos buscamos triunfar en el exterior?, Tercera Vuelta [podcast] Spotify. Available at https://open.spotify.com/episode/2snyNXMA6JreRLDkMwVHMu?si=ae97ea7879714c11 (Accessed 23 January 2025).

[2] El Tiempo. (2024). Hijo de actor Arnold Schwarzenegger tiene apellido de colombiano, El Tiempo. Available at https://www.eltiempo.com/archivo/documento/MAM-4566713 (Accessed 23 January 2025).

[3] García, G. (1982). The Solitude of Latin America Available at: https://www.nobelprize.org/prizes/literature/1982/marquez/lecture/ (Accessed by 23 January 2025).

[4] Svarczkopf, L. (2022). The River Thames has a drug problem. The Emerald Review. Available at: https://emeraldreview.com/2022/10/the-river-thames-has-a-drug-problem/ (Accessed 23 January 2025).

[5] Arao, B. and Clemens, K. (2013). From Safe Spaces to Brave Spaces: A New Way to Frame Dialogue Around Diversity and Social Justice. In: L. Landreman, ed. The Art of Effective Facilitation: Reflections from Social Justice Educators. Sterling, VA: Stylus Publishing.

I’m overcomplicating things again, so I’m going to change my process. Here are some quick updates.

What I’ve Read So Far: Four Key Texts

1. University of the Arts London (2022) Impact Storytelling: The Ecosystem, The Evidence and Possible Futures. UAL Storytelling Institute. This helped me understand what a “storytelling ecosystem” means. It also established a gap in the field: many people in this area need training in storytelling skills.
2. Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o (1986). Decolonizing the mind. This book helped me realize that the role of transformative education is to give people the confidence to change their reality, which really resonated with me. I also gained clarity on my own relationship with when to write in Spanish versus English.
3. McNiff, J. (2013). Action research: principles and practice. London: Routledge. This was a game-changer. I hadn’t understood what action research was, why reflecting and journaling were relevant, or why it was necessary to act. Acting is necessary because it reveals questions that can’t be answered through reading alone. Also, many important problems aren’t being addressed by academia because it’s often siloed into purely bibliographical research. I only have a background in paper-based research; I’ve never gotten my hands dirty. I want to change that now. I also realized that my perspective on research has been positivist up until now. I thought I couldn’t interact with my research communities because it would bias the research. Now, it seems that interaction isn’t just desirable but necessary. Otherwise, the “object/subject” distinction creates relationships that I’m not interested in.
4. Rappaport, J. (2020). Cowards don’t make history: Orlando Fals Borda and the origins of participatory action research in Colombia. Durham, North Carolina: Duke University Press I’m currently reading about how action research was applied in Colombia and transformed into “participatory action research.” This movement is what gave birth to sociology in Colombia, and in it it has been specially relevant. It’s truly surprising that I’ve ended up in an action research master’s program. It almost feels like more than a coincidence.

What I’ve Done So Far

• I stopped conducting interviews. I came to a very important conclusion for myself: for now, I need to separate art (storytelling) from my work. My priority is to find a job that doesn’t make me feel alienated and leaves me time to create. In the first semester, I was obsessed with finding a job where I could be creative, but now I’m not sure if that’s what I want. I prefer stability (but not like the one that law can provide me, which is a really high cost, as it offers no peace of mind).
• I’ve changed my research question: The subject isn’t storytelling anymore, it is “How can applied rhetoric skills be taught in a personalized, student-led way to historically marginalized communities without imposing a single dominant discourse style?” It’s clear how my readings have pushed me toward education.
• I created a survey to start offering rhetoric workshops. This has been discouraging because I was hoping for at least 50-60 responses and so far I only have nine. Perhaps the community I was interested in (international postgraduate students) isn’t interested in studying communication skills during the summer.
• I’ve divided my blog into essays and journaling. I want to write more developed ideas, but that is stopping me from journaling, so I decided to divide my blog into two. Essays help me start conversations with others and build a portfolio, while the journal texts are specifically for engaging with UAL tutors.

What’s Next?

• Find a community or space where I can apply my workshop/intervention. I’d like to do this in a physical space, not online. I’m honestly anxious and scared about this because I don’t know where to apply it during the summer, and I can’t wait until the semester is over.
• Journal more often, now that I understand the point of it. I also didn’t truly understand why iterative interventions were important until I read McNiff’s text.
• Improve how I communicate my research. Richie’s tutorial gave me this structure, which I want to practice:
  • Area of interest
  • An outline of what I don’t know
  • An indication of how I plan to intervene
  • A summary of the question

Struggles

• I became overloaded last week and had to stop working on my job and research for a couple of days. I don’t want to take a vacation or travel until I have something more concrete.
• I don’t know how to access the communities I want to reach.

I’ve been a research subject twice in the last two weeks. I participated in a psychological social study and an audiology study. I find them a good comparison because one is strictly medical, and the other bridges the social sciences.

• Both were conducted within the framework of research by prestigious UK universities.
• The psychological one was a group study; it involved playing and interacting with others, while the audiological one was individual and involved testing my left ear.
• Both lasted an hour and required over half an hour of commuting. Both paid me for participating.
• I enjoyed the psychological one, so I didn’t mind the commute in the end.
• I found the audiological one exhausting and somewhat uncomfortable; it made me feel objectified at some point. My ear also hurt the next day because they inserted a plug too deeply into my right ear. That night, I was slightly regretting having taken part in the study.
• Moreover, the audiology test required me to stay still for 30 minutes in front of a screen while they monitored my pupils. I couldn’t move much, and the lack of movement stressed me out.

It was useful for me to see how researchers behave when they’re with their subjects. The most interesting behaviour for me was the process of the consent forms, maybe because I’m currently struggling with how to ask people to sign them. Sometimes, it doesn’t even make sense to me to ask for a signature especially for some interviews. I feel it might scare people and make them less open to talk. Luckily, I’m starting to notice that in this country it’s quite common to be asked to take part in research, so maybe it’s not a big deal.

My attention was mainly focused on how they were going to ask me to sign the consent form and how it was structured. I expected the medical consent form to be more rigorous and “serious” than the psychological one. I think that’s a bit sad, because it might imply that I see medical research as more serious than social sciences. Although many factors can influence how the consent process is carried out (who explained it, who wrote it, their background), and I can’t draw general conclusions, I was surprised by how structured and informative the psychological consent form was. In contrast, the medical one was clear, but the document seemed less “formal” or “research persuasive.”

Should I pursue the same aura that I felt in those studies? That is, to not being fully aware of what the research is about and just obbeying and doing what they told me I have to do as a subject? Feeling that I cannot fully know what they want to extract or learn from me. It’s okay to feel extracted as a research subject?

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Notes on Jim Parsons’ Paper

Now I can connect this to “An Introduction to Action Research and Its Ethical Practices,” a paper by Jim Parsons.

(If you Google this name, chances are that you’re going to find Sheldon Cooper’s images and think the actor was a psychological researcher. After five minutes you’re going to find they are not. God, I hate The Big Bang theory).

He mentions that, since Action Research implies the researcher is an insider, the logic of other research ethics might not apply. That’s important for two reasons:

1. In my first intervention, I was unsure whether I had to participate in the conversation with the other participants or stay silent and try to be as invisible as possible.
2. I never considered that these two studies might not be comparable to mine. They’re not; the dynamics are different.

Parsons mentions five ethical principles for Action Research. I’m not going to explain them here, just comment on my own notes about them.

1. Minimize harm

He says teachers are in loco parentis, which makes sense with children, but does that apply in a postgraduate course? I had the same question when I was a lecturer back in Colombia. I felt paternalized by people 15 years older than me, they were asking me life advices. Usually, what I thought was: ‘I know what Aristotle said about rhetoric, but I have no idea how to behave in life. Why are you asking me that? I’m 26, you might be 37, wtf’. It’s interesting to think that in all contexts, teachers have a role of care. Why? At some point, I saw myself as just a bridge for specific knowledge.

2. Informed consent

I like that he mentions there are cases where asking for signed informed consent doesn’t make sense, like when a professor is researching in their own class. I see it this way: he might inform them, but asking 32 people to sign forms every time is not practical.

To me, there are cases where it also makes no sense to ask for a signed form, for example, when findings won’t be published (even in blogs), or when there’s no specific research question as a framework. I’ve take part of casual non formal interventions in CSM two weeks ago, I didn’t signed any form and I didn’t think it was necessary.

3. Anonymity of subjects and information

No comments, I agree.

4. No deception in data gathering (lol, this one is important)

My only reference for social research had been positive psychology and Gesell boxes. I’m glad to know I don’t have to act like a covert researcher and can be transparent about what I’m looking for. That’s one of the main takeaways from this reading for me.

5. Right of withdrawal

He says it doesn’t make sense to let students withdraw from classroom-based research. I disagree, logistical problems don’t justify removing the right to withdraw. It’s not the same as the written consent form. Even if there’s no harm, denying someone the option to withdraw denies their agency entirely.

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Final thought: I didn’t understand the concept of the “Zone of Accepted Practice” he mentions.

I saw this today, it blew my mind: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSBRofhbS/

It’s a series of animated sketches about the misery of corporate life. Unfortunately, it’s in Spanish and there’s no translation. Still, it makes me happy that it’s made only in Spanish. In the end, it makes me feel more confident about what we can produce in Latam.

I like it because it’s funny, absurd, and satirical. I’d like to do something like that. The guy who published the video has clips explaining how he made it. Since it’s made with plasticine, I thought it was two minutes of stop motion, and I thought, “I can do that” (I can’t). Later, he explained that he digitized the plasticine and animated it in Blender. What is Blender? I asked and that’s when I fell down a rabbit hole.

I know Blender is complicated, so I found it funny that, for a moment, I seriously considered spending lots of thime time learning -again- how to use a program (Premiere Pro, After Effects, Notion (?), Adobe Fresco, Audacity, Audition, Procreate…). Never again. I’ll iterate with what I have at hand, and that has to be enough.

To apply one’s imagination is to learn how to start small and to deliberately restrict one’s own ideas in order to make the leap and begin to create.

Tutors told me things that made perfect sense regarding how to engage with key actor for my research. I’ve done this before, this isn’t new to me, and yet, here I am, making all kinds of rookie mistakes.

They told me: “Put your interviews in your calendar.”

Obvious, right? And still, I showed up a whole day later to one interview because I had written the wrong date. What’s wrong with me? I wouldn’t make that kind of mistake at work.

They told me: “Have a short answer prepared about your project, in case someone asks.”

Of course. And still, last week, after what I’d say was a really good interview, the interviewee surprised me by asking about my project: he wanted to connect me with other artists. I didn’t expect that. My response? “Eh, uh… my research is… eh, just starting, and it’s about… eh… *mumbling in Spanish*, yes.” I completely fumbled.

They told me: “Read your interviewee’s books beforehand”

This one was my favourite one because it sounded less obvious than the others. I used to think: If I’m interviewing someone, it’s because I want to learn about their work, it’s not a problem if I am not an expert in their work, right? Well, I had an interview with someone I had been trying to talk to for a month. I might only get this one chance. At the half of the interview I realized I was asking her things she had already answered in her book. More than making her uncomfortable and unread, my concer is that I could have gone deeper. The conversation could have been even more concrete, straightforward and action-based.

I missed that chance. Now I might have to wait until September -after summer- before I can speak with her again.

Last week, I did my first intervention. It was more about learning how to do an intervention than about collecting information itself. It was interesting, my main insight is that I need to plan it with more time. My main question now is whether I should take part in the workshop I’m leading and say what I think, or if I should only ask questions.

In another post, I hope to share more details. This week, I’ll be helping as an assistant director for a photoshoot, and I signed to help as an assistant director for a play. I want to be as close as possible to storytelling industries.

Also, my tutor advised me that my task for this summer should be to make a video for Vox talking about Colombian cosmogonies. Such an amazing task! Sounds like I have now a plan.

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I’m still stuck with being able to write more regularly. I should write a paragraph every day, and yet I overthink it. It’s honestly pathological.

(source: https://www.instagram.com/p/DJ_VB5stZ3K/?igsh=MTFqdm5qd2tidjZuMw%3D%3D)

Yesterday I went to a documentary event about the impact of mining companies in Latin America at UCL. It was intense. There are several topics I hadn’t wanted to face until now because they feel too heavy, like mining documentaries; I used to avoid spaces like that. The same thing happened with the Truth Commission report that came out of the 2016 Peace Agreement between Colombia and the FARC. I haven’t wanted to read it because it scares me.

I used to think watching these documentaries wasn’t a meaningful action on its own, that it wasn’t an external action that transforms immediate reality, and so it was comfortable and passive. Wrong. Staying informed isn’t easy, and it takes constant effort to keep watching the screen. It’s impossible not to want to act after seeing these situations. Staying informed does count as direct action.

Or well, to what extent? Because I’ve never been able to watch an animal cruelty documentary that promotes vegetarianism. And I don’t want to. It feels like masochism. The films I watch yesterday were sensitive with the audience, withouth understimating the importance of the situation.

The two documentaries I saw yesterday were possible because someone with filmmaking knowledge decided to travel to remote areas of Peru, and also managed to get funding for post-production. I’m thinking about whether I should shift my project toward facilitating communication tools for rural communities. Decentralizing impact communication. A school of archiving, production, and dissemination of stories for periferic areas with in handle tools. Too complicated.

At its core, the idea is still the same: to give visibility to Latin American stories.

An idea that’s hitting me hard is that, as a Latin American who considers himself someone who tries to stay informed, I hadn’t seen these documentaries. Until two weeks ago, I had never seen Agarrando Pueblo by Luis Ospina and Carlos Mayolo. Maybe right now, curation is more important than production?

I asked some questions and two people came up to talk to me. I’ve got two new contacts. I had tried this before at Port Talks in Goodenough (talks held at the place where I live), but it hadn’t led anywhere. The difference is that I feel empathy with the discussion I was yesterday.

Ahora, en español:

Historias ya hay, para qué escribir más, el problema es quién las encuentra

Sigo atascado con poder escribir más seguido. Tengo que escribir cada día un párrafo y aun así lo planeo demasiado. Re patológico el asunto. 

Ayer fui a un evento de documental sobre el impacto de empresas mineras en Latinoamérica. Estuvo fuerte. Hay varios temas que no he querido ver hasta ahora porque se me hacen muy pesados, antes evitaba estos tipos de espacios. Lo mismo me pasó con el informe de la Comisión de la Verdad que nació del Acuerdo de Paz de 2016 entre Colombia y las FARC, no lo he querido leer porque me da miedo. 

Solía pensar que ver estos documentales no es una acción valiosa en sí misma, que no es una acción externa que transforme la realidad inmediata, por lo tanto es cómoda y pasiva. No es así. No es fácil informarse y requiere un esfuerzo constante seguir viendo la proyección. Es imposible no querer actuar luego de ver estas situaciones. Informarse cuenta como acción directa. 

O bueno, hasta qué punto? Porque nunca he podido ver un documental de maltrato animal que promueve el vegetarianismo. Tampoco quiero hacerlo. Siento que es masoquismo.  Una diferencia sustancial es que los cortos de ayer son sensibles con la audiencia sin disminuir la gravedad de la historia. Fácilmente pudieron haber sido amarillistas: no lo fueron. Aprecio ese detalle.

Los dos documentales que vi ayer fueron posibles porque alguien con conocimiento cinematográfico decidió viajar a zonas remotas de Perú, y además consiguió financiamiento para la postproducción. Estoy pensando si cambiar mi proyecto hacia la facilitación de herramientas de comunicación a comunidades rurales. Descentralizar la comunicación de impacto. Escuelas de archivo, producción y difusión de historias rurales con herramientas que sean accesibles a la gente. Suena complicado. 

En esencia, la idea sigue siendo la misma: visibilizar historias de Latinoamérica.

Una idea que me está impactando es que, siendo latino y considerándome una persona que busca estar informada, no había visto estos documentales. Hasta hace dos semanas nunca había visto Agarrando Pueblo de Luis Ospina y Carlos Mayolo. Tal vez en este momento es más importante la curaduría que la producción?

Hice preguntas y dos personas se acercaron a hablarme, tengo dos contactos nuevos. Ya había hecho esto antes en Port Talks en Goodenough (charlas que hacen en sitio donde vivo) pero no había dado frutos. La diferencia es que este es un espacio donde sentí empatía hacia la discusión y quienes hablaban.

I’m stuck. I have tried to start this blog six times and I’ve surrendered seven. Perfectionism blocks my way: I start writing, I complicate the argument so that it’s “worth publishing”, it falls apart, and I don’t publish anything at all in the end.

“I’m scared of being mediocre, but that fear is blocking my way from acting. I’m realizing that one part of my search in this master’s course is to find a sweet spot between the perfect (non-feasible) and the mediocre.”

That was how my last attempt at blogging started; I made a drawing related to the etymology of “mediocre” because I wanted to do an illustration for every blog entry. I didn’t publish this text either: in response I felt guilty for not finishing it.

My feeling of being stuck comes from noticing that the style I want to write with is just not viable for a weekly publication, which is what this blog is supposed to be. It’s the perfect task to break a perfectionist. Today, in response, I was given a brilliant recommendation: “Can’t you publish weekly? Then do it daily.”

And so I will, for now.

I want to keep this blog public, as I’m immensely afraid of being a public imperfect writer.

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Ahora, en español:

Estoy bloqueado. He intentado comenzar este blog seis veces y me he frustrado siete. El perfeccionismo me tranca: comienzo un escrito, lo complico para que sea digno de ser publicado, se enreda, al final no publico nada.

“Me da miedo ser mediocre, pero ese miedo me está bloqueando de actuar. Estoy dándome cuenta de que, parte de la búsqueda de esta maestría es encontrar un lugar entre lo perfecto (lo irrealizable) y lo mediore”.

Así comenzaba mi último intento de blog. Hice un dibujo sobre la etimología de “mediocre”, porque quería hacer una ilustración por cada escrito que publicara (lo cual probablemente es muy complicado). Al final, de nuevo, no publiqué nada: sentí culpa.

El bloqueo viene de notar que el estilo con el que quiero escribir no es viable para un blog semanal. Es la tarea perfecta para romper a un perfeccionista. Hoy, en respuesta, me dejaron una tarea brillante: “¿No puede publicar semanalmente?, entonces publique cada día.”

Así haré, por ahora.

Antes de irme: debido al inmenso miedo que me da ser públicamente un escritor imperfecto quiero mantener público este blog.